I once wrote a paper about my lack of belief in the ability of people to change. I doubt my own ability to change more than anything. I often get the sinking feeling that my current slack-off ways are just the prelude to my slack-off life. I worry that I’ve set myself up to imminently fail. I keep wondering which mistake will be the point of no return. Putting things off is my biggest problem - in nearly every way imaginable. Although, now that I’ve talked about it on the world wide web, I feel a little bit better. This problem was brought to my attention a long time ago. Why am I still struggling with it?
people said when I was younger are vitally important. In the dark during a sleepover, rolled over on their sides - or sitting in a circle outside during a school basketball game, crying about their parents or their salvation… the things I experienced then may not have been as dark as they seem to me now, but I can’t re-regard them. They still seem dark and weighty… and vitally important. And I feel irresponsible for not writing down more of their words.
